Mom’s are like super heroes. Growing up I watched my mom juggling all these different balls and working hard to not let one drop. She was and still is a wife, mom, sister, daughter, chef, chauffeur, homework checker, sounding board and so much more. She taught me how to be strong and independent, kind and to respect others and most of all she taught me how to love myself unconditionally.
I am truly lucky and blessed to call her “Momma”. She has be there for every high and low point in our lives and she is the reason we are who we are. With Mother’s Day on Sunday, I thought I would post about the lessons my mom has taught me over the years.
At the age of 25 my mom had saved enough for a down-payment to purchase her first piece of land and built her home. This is the house we had grown up in and my parents still live there today. My parent’s jobs have never been six figure jobs but they made due with what they had. Watching her work magic with their finances showed me that:
- Never rely on another person as a financial plan. You should always work hard for what you want and don’t plan your life around marrying an old rich guy.
- Always have an emergency fund. Shit happens and you don’t want to go into debt by putting everything on a credit card. Although I love swiping my card for the points (I know it is a no no in the pf world but I pay it off in full every month.)
- Have an account no one knows about and save something for you. You never know what the future holds (divorce or a spouse could go through a mid-life crisis) and you may need the money to start over.
- Only loan money to family members if you never want to get it back. And if you want it back and depending on the amount get it in writing because family members can screw you over too if they are given the opportunity to do so.
My mom is a firm believer in having a positive attitude and kindness. A smile, saying thank you, or giving up your seat doesn’t cost anything.
- Always do something nice for someone else. Whether it is helping a family during a hard time or buying a new bag for one of the church goers, my mom is always doing something nice for someone else. Now that I am older I and have a full-time job, I like to do a monthly random act of kindness. Even if it is just buying coffee for the stranger behind me.
- Show respect and kindness to everyone. You never know their circumstances and you just don’t the difference your kindness will make in their day.
- As long as your intentions are pure, that is all that matters. I remember one summer we were on vacation in Florida and going to dinner and saw this family sitting outside in the pouring rain with a sign. My mom gave them $100. When we sat at the table I asked “how do you know when someone is really in need?” and her response was “My heart is in the right place, so if they are lying than they have to deal with their conscience.”
When it comes to family my mom is probably the most selfless woman I know. She spends most of her time doing for others and never really does something for herself. This made me realize that as a wife and mom you should:
- Always do something for you! Moms tend to give 100% of themselves to everyone and everything. And my Mom was no different. But spending a half hour to an hour day doing something you enjoy allows you to unwind from your day and relax.
- Your children do not come first – Your marriage does. Now before you jump on my Momma – She has never said this. This is a take-away lesson I have learned from watching. When you are married you must continue to date, be playful/flirt with each other and always make sure you say thank you.
- Pick and choose your battles. Everything doesn’t have to be an all out argument. You may win the argument but ultimately damage your relationship. Leaving you wondering was it really worth it.